Learning to breathe...a lesson in patience

Inhale! Hold my breath!

Sunscreen, dresses, flip flops, watermelon and lightning bugs are just a few of my favorites on a summer day. Enjoying time in the cool, refreshing waters of the river, a pool, or even under a sprinkler is definitely a must.

When I was a child, my family would often drive to the home of my Uncle Cecil in Hot Springs. Reminiscing these past few days, I pondered memories of fun in the sun by his pool.

During one of the trips there, I decided I had the sufficient skills necessary to navigate the deep waters of the pool. Running as fast as my young legs would carry me, I jumped in. Now let me tell you a secret — I did not yet know how to swim!

Trying to keep my head above water and gasping for air, I yelled, “Daddy, help!”

I can still see him charging toward the pool and diving in to rescue me from my childish ignorance while my mom, siblings and cousins watched the event unfold. Thankfully, after several minutes of coughing, trying to catch my breath, a bout of vomiting and some fearful tears, I was ready to swim again — this time the shallow.

It was during that adventurous day that I was told, “It is time you learn to swim.” When my daddy gave a command, I obeyed.

The next summer, my mom signed me up for swim lessons and in the water I went. Practicing some breath control was first on the list. I even braved dunking my head underwater. I held onto the side of the pool kicking my legs and feet as fast as I could, and I soon learned to relax and stay afloat. Eventually, I overcame my fears of drowning and headed to the deep for some dog paddling. Remaining calm helps to tread water much longer.

I continued lessons for many years and worked diligently trying to get the hang of the strategic techniques needed to breaststroke efficiently. I am not at all graceful, so mastering the art of diving did not happen. Practice, practice and practice helped to fine-tune my strokes and I became much stronger in my swimming.

Fast forward a few (actually, many) years. Living on the river and traveling to the ocean every summer, my husband and I were adamant that our children learning to swim was essential for their safety. Just like brushing their teeth, eating vegetables, minding manners and saying prayers was a must, so was learning to swim. If your children do not know how to swim, sign them up for some lessons. Trust me when I say, the time and money will be well-spent. If you, as an adult, have never learned, it is never too late. Swimming is a phenomenal work-out, too.

In the early ‘90s, I began an unexpected powerhouse of a workout. I literally began with practicing some breath controls, known as labor and delivery. I inhaled, held my breath, and jumped into the waters of motherhood.

Now I did not have any skills necessary to navigate those waters, but I had no option but to learn. Tending to the needs and demands of my precious ones had me feeling as though I was drowning and needed to be rescued. Infancy and their dependence on me for nutrition, as well as sleepless nights, had me practicing some deep breathing for sure. The toddler years of learning to walk and talk had me constantly saying, “Sit down and be quiet!” Sudden outbursts of “I only want it my way” caused a few (many) tantrums of my own. Many days, reading them a bedtime story didn’t come soon enough.

There were times I managed to relax and stay afloat for a while. Their childhood years were laborious work, although not as daunting as the infancy and toddler years. Teaching them ABC’s, 123’s, how to tie shoes and to make their own bed was easy. The toughest part while treading those waters was determining between childish irresponsibility and willful defiance. Moving along to the next stage — adolescence — was like relearning the breaststroke. Whew! Learning to guide, but not micromanage their lives was essential throughout those arduous years.

“Rules without relationship leads to rebellion” was a quote by Josh McDowell I read one time and I and my husband kept that thought in the forefront of our minds.

The thought behind it is that we can’t have all those rules but no relationship with our children.

I cannot compare parenting teenagers to a perfect dive; remember, I am not graceful. Learning how to navigate the waters of parenting was challenging, yet the effort has been quite rewarding. All three children are now married and I have come up for air. I can now exhale and breathe! One is now learning to navigate the waters of raising children — so that makes me “grand” and it is wonderful. I think I am finally learning to dive; maybe I am graceful after all.

It is important for me to tell you that my husband and I parented as a team using biblical truths and an eternal perspective. I lift up my eyes from the hills; from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth (Psalm 121:1,2 ESV).